D is for "Date"

We all get busy, and it's easy to get wrapped up in the To Do list. We both work full time and come home to cooking and housework. By the time 8:30 rolls around and the kid is in bed, both of us are pretty wiped out. By the time the weekend shows up (with soccer games and errands and home maintenance projects), we're usually just trying to make it to Monday. The best part of our weekend is sleeping in on Sunday and maybe having enough time to watch a whole movie on TV.

I'm committing to dating my spouse again, however. I found a website full of dating ideas (The Dating Divas), and I purchased their 52 Dates, Year of Dates, and Year of Intimate Dates downloads. I'm creating a book of dates from all of this and giving it to my husband for a gift, with the express wish that we begin dating again.

As the website professes, dating our spouses is imperative to keeping our connection alive. The dates don't have to be elaborate or expensive. They just have to be planned, intentional, and habitual. That one night a week to rekindle the romance, the physical connection, and the fun should be something to look forward to all week. Rather than dreading another weekend of work, if I knew I got to do something fun, and I spent all week planning it, I'd be completely revved up with expectation. The idea, also, is that we take turns planning.

Now, we're lucky. Our kiddo usually goes to a grandparent's house on Friday nights (since they all take turns picking him up from school on Fridays). So, that can easily become our date night.

Boredom is a killer in relationships. And I can honestly say, I'm bored with my marriage. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my husband. I'm devoted and committed. But, I'm bored. And it's just as much my fault as it is his. So, I'm taking a bit more onto myself with this whole "dating project." I'm going to plan one big date each month and one "sexy" date each month (using those awesome materials I downloaded). If it ends up being too much, I'll alternate months for those.

My husband and I have sat down a few times in our marriage and listed out activities we like to do, so we'd have something to fall back on when we got stuck in the vortex of that "What do you wanna do?" "I don't know...what do you wanna do?" conversation. But, just having a list of activities is not nearly as beneficial as actually planning out a date. Putting in the added effort to plan shows the other person that they matter...that they are special enough to devote all that thought to. I know it makes me feel important when he surprises me with something out of the ordinary.

I know I have to keep the love languages in mind here, too. Romance isn't necessarily a need for him. and "quality time" is my language...not his. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want to reconnect with me or spend time with me.

I'm putting together my little "Date me?" gift this weekend. I'll keep you updated (and post pics!).